


The Break-in

by xAestheticallyXReadingx



Series: Lemony Snippets [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Middle School, Scratch that this probably counts as furry fanfiction doesn't it, T rating because of cursing, These are middle schoolers what did you expect, They're animals guys, no beta we die like men, whatever this is a birthday gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-10 21:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18416312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xAestheticallyXReadingx/pseuds/xAestheticallyXReadingx
Summary: Who breaks into a principal's office anyways? Criminal Masterminds, or really dense children?





	The Break-in

**Author's Note:**

> If you do not want to read Bugmouthh's personal note and/or want to read a shorter version of notes, go to the bottom. Thank you :)
> 
> Happy 16th, Bugmouthh!!!:D I appreciate how much you have inspired me to have written your beautiful characters and for generally being an overall Goddess. I hope the finished product is good enough for your birthday. :)
> 
> This is in no way canon to Bug's creations, but you can talk to her on her Tumblr!!! (Bugmouthh.tumblr.com)
> 
> None of the characters are mine and/or all characters used in this work are for plot.

To say that Emmett Harrison is a bit tired is an understatement.

 

It's not his fault, no, of _course_ not. Far too old to do parties or hang-outs like kids these days, instead, he spends his Sundays staying up too late to find out _what the fuck is wrong with the school budget, and why does it keep disappearing???_

…That is to say, the fault of his sleepless nights is the district. Not that he’d say that out loud. _No sir, I am a lawful, principal of a hare who will never disrespect my higher-uppers or some crap._

_Eugh shit,_ Emmett grumbles as he fumbles around the keys in his paws. _I hate Mondays._

His mood slightly lightens when he gets the right key, before dampening again when _nope, it was actually the right one in the first place, Harrison._ It gets worse when Emmett remembers that Mary Herb the secretary is in, so he didn't need the key to open the office doors in the first place.

 

His keys return in Emmett's pocket in a haste, grumpy pace, and he walks in, tired eyes meeting Mary’s first, who should be just as tired but somehow chipper in the morning. To prove it, she looks up and greets him in a rather chirpy, “Mornin'!” to Emmett. As nice as her positivity is, it doesn't help his pulsing headache.

 

“Good morning, Mary,” He greets back past a yawn. “How late am I?” Her keyboard clicks throughout the room. Despite the time being, … _what is it, six? Seven???_ , sunlight shines through the windows, slightly blinding Emmett’s weary eyes.

 

The secretary glances at the clock before she cringes, eyes grimacing. “Oh my, you came over an hour later than usual.” He emits a wince from how late he is. _Godammit,_ Emmett hisses in his head. She gives Emmett a sympathetic look, ears down and head turned slightly to the left. “Stayed up last night?”

 

Emmett doesn't respond her, his overall demeanor a clear answer. Usually a hare who keeps track of his tail, his shirt and tie is unfortunately wrinkled, his short hairs sticking up, and his ears aren’t as attentive as they should be for a principal in a middle school. A middle school filled with _disgusting, hormonal, weird-ass kids._

 

“Yeah, I'm really in a mood for something to wake me up right now. Do you think it's too early to have some carrots this morning?” he jokes. Emmet's tired ears almost miss some shuffling from one of the other rooms.

 

Mary clicks her tongue at the hare. “You should be careful Emmett. You know about your diabetic history in the family,” she jokingly warns back.

 

Emmett gives a dry, tired laugh. “Yeah, I know. If anything, I already have a-“

 

A muffled crash interrupts what he was going to say, followed by a shriek. Mary stops her typing, hooves hovered above the keyboard. Emmett shoots up straight, as his ears do the same. Mary doesn't hear much after, but Emmett, despite bring tired, starts running on adrenaline and listens to muffled talking and quick shuffling behind his office.

 

In any other situation, Emmett would have called someone who actually could take care of a burglar ( _or something_ ) breaking in. But, only have slept for three hours and  running on morning grumpiness and a sudden pump in his veins, Emmett decides in his sleep-deprived mind that simply _walking up_ to the door slowly like some cliché horror movie will do the trick.

 

As he takes slow steps towards the closed door, Emmett can feel wooly curls behind him. “Stay behind me, Mary-” A frontal leg shoots up to stop her from stepping in front of him. “-This could get nasty…” Emmett decides to drawl, low and forced in a way that sounds staged.

 

Mary is unamused, her eyes bored. “ Emmett, this is embarrassing, even for you.”

 

“Oh- _uh_ \- well um- well, a hare can _dream_ ,” he scoffs before walking closer to his office door. A few feet away from the room, he pauses.

 

There's a short moment where both of them do nothing. Emmett, just standing near the room, can vaguely hear better, the burglars(?) moving around even more (then followed by a suspicious _thump_ ), as his legs refuse to move any closer to the supposed danger.

 

 _Well you know what they say about rabbits and hares._ “Well Mary, ladies first?” He turns to see Mary with a pissed expression, all the answer he needs. “Oh, alright…” Emmett doesn’t try to hide the tremble in his voice.

 

A few inches closer, and Emmett is directly in front of the door. _Here goes nothing…_ His paw goes to twist the knob, shaking like a snake in the tundra.

_Wait, did we bring a weapon-,_ Emmett questions himself before all his previous thoughts disappear because of what he sees next.

 

The first thing Emmett's eyes land on is a young lion directly in front of the door, paw outstretched as if to reach it open too, before freezing in place. His eyes are wide from fear or shock as he stares back at Emmett. Now that he's taking a better look at the child, Emmett's memory racks up their name. … _May??? He's the burglar-?_

Emmett notices movement behind May, his eyes shooting up to see who else is in the room. He focusses on two figures, a young bear ( _What???_ ) one leg out the window and the other out of balance, and a young bobcat, eyes frozen towards the principal as her paws clench around the other's sweater, as if to ( _Pull? Push?)_ him from the window. His tired mind doesn't easily think of a name for them as fast as May, so Emmett pulls his eyes away from the pair to instead focus on the dark figure up on the ceiling.

 

A ~~rat~~ wingless bat hangs from the vent, obviously trying to pry it open somehow with only his claws. The sudden intrusion in the room causes him to fall straight to the ground. The child ( _Zack! That's his name!)_ shouts,“ FUCK,” as he hits the carpet floor, a screech that rings through the office.

 

Emmett ignores the curse, and instead asks himself, _what the fuck is going on???_

* * *

 

 

After sending back Mary to her desk, frightened at the unusual predicament, Emmett sits on his office chair as the four children are in front of his desk. He didn't expect his morning to start off like this, but what can you do when you have your students break into your office for some ever reason?

 

_…That’s not a normal thought…_

 

The bear ( _Lance! That’s his name!)_ decides to speak first. “Are we all going to be late for first period?”

 

Emmett pauses at the question. After looking at his desk clock, he answers, “Yes, you will, but I'll send a message to each one for your teachers to not mark you students late.” Most of the kids in front of Emmett look relieved, except for the bat. His face is scrunched in a weird algamation of disgust and fear.

 

“Wait, so does that mean we're going to stay here?” He asks, his wingless arms tense against his small frame.

 

“Considering the fact you all broke into my office without any explanation given to me yet,” Emmett says, his tone diplomatic but firm, “I need all of you four to tell me what happened and why.”

 

Silence fills the room, giving Emmett the chance to-

 

“-THERE WAS A BOMB- AND- AND-”

 

“-I'M SO SORRY MR. HARRISON-”

 

“-NINJAS WERE BREAKING IN-”

 

“-DON'T TELL MY MOM BUT-”

 

“-BASEBALL BATS WERE THROWN TO YOUR CLASSROOM AND-”

 

“-THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD EXPLANATION FOR YOU SIR IF I CAN-”

 

"-HE DID IT-”

 

“-I'M HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH YOU-”

 

“STOP!” Emmett yells over them, somehow immediately shutting them up.

 

A tired sigh escapes his mouth. Emmett's paw clenches the skin between his eyes. “ _Separately._ ” Emmett snaps, confused on how each child thought he could listen to them all clearly. “ I'm going to get an explanation out of you all, _separately.”_

He takes a deep breath, not only to calm himself down, but to seem less threatening. Or really, as non-threatening as a hare should look like.

 

“So,” Emmett begins. “ Who wants to go first?”

 

* * *

 

_Name: Morozov, Lance_

_Local ID: 376006_

_…_

_Blahblahblahtoomuchreadingforaprincipal._ Emmett flips through the file carelessly.

_…_

_Sex: Male_

_Age: 14_

_…_

 

Emmett looks up to see Lance, sitting in the comically small chair under him. _Oh sure, he's thirteen…_ Emmett thinks. He ignores how the skyscraper of the “thirteen year old” towers over him, despite Emmett sitting in the highest raised state his office chair could be in ( _right? It's at it's highest? Mary fixed it at least twice earlier to make me taller_ ).

 

_Species: Ursidae-Ursus arctos arctos (Eurasian Brown Bear)_

_Yeah alright, I'm done reading,_ Emmett thinks to himself as he goes and closes the student file.

 

“So Lance, you-“

 

“I'msorrymeandmyfriendsgotinthismessandIhopeitwon'thappenagainand-”

 

" _Lance_ ,” Emmett interrupts. He's getting _pretty fucking tired_ of these kids interrupting him all the time. “I need a description of what happened, not if you're sorry or not.”

 

Lance himself pauses in his seat, before shrinking back in shame. “Yes, sorry sir.”

 

Emmett feels slightly relieved before going back to asking questions again. “ Lance, what happened?”

 

Lance acts still, silent without confession. Despite his frozen posture, his eyes are shooting around rapidly across the floor.

 

Needless to say, Emmett is unamused. “Were you let in here?” _There, that's an easy question to answer._

 

"Yes,” Lance responds, with no added panic or bite in his voice.

 

"Did Mrs. Herb let you in?” His eyes briefly look up towards the closed door, separating the pair from Mary and the rest of Lance's friends.

 

Lance cooperates. “Yes.” He snaps his mouth shut. _Maybe hiding a lie?_

 

Emmett asks perplexedly, “She let you inside my office, instead of in the waiting room?”

 

"Yes.” _???_

Emmett hums, unconvinced. _Think Harrison, maybe he's lying._

 

“Did you and your friends break in before or-“

 

“Yes.” _What?_

“… before the secretary came in.” Emmett drawls in a flat voice.

 

“Yes,” Lance answers, but in a way that even he himself is unconvinced of his own answer. His claws fumble with the hem of his red sweater.

 

Emmett's brain stalls to understand the paradoxical answers he was given. “…The secretary… let you guys in… into my office instead of the waiting room… all before she opened the door.” Lance is silent again after he hears what he just said.

 

"…Yes?”

 

Emmett's head frustratingly falls into his paws. _Fucking god, this is going to take forever._

 

* * *

 

 

_…_

_Name: Arvada, Elizabeth Atron_

_Nickname: Liz-_

Emmett's ears hear the shift of the child’s frontal limbs before his eyes can find out what she's doing. He squints his eyes in confusion before noticing her grab an abstract table statue on his desk. “What's this-?”

 

“Please don't touch that.” Emmett tells Lizzy. She reluctantly listens, and puts it back in the general area it was supposed to be.

 

…Except on the table ledge. And sideways. And rolling off onto the carpet. Because she didn't put it anywhere it was originally supposed to be.

 

Both are silent, Emmett trying to keep his annoyance at bay and the child too busy with her attention at swinging her legs and observing Emmett's desk to care. Eventually, Emmett's attention returns to her file, in no way feeling any better about his situation.

 

_Nickname: Lizzy_

_Local ID: 316616_

_Age:-_

Emmett’s paw catches Lizzy's before she can reach to his pencils. “Don't touch those either, Lizzy.” She stares back at Emmett.

 

“What if I wanna?” She questions, not particularly challenging but more along the lines of curious of the result.

 

That doesn't change Emmett's answer. “…Just leave it alone. _Please_.” Lizzy pouts at the unsatisfying answer as she complies. _Hopefully for the last time_ , Emmett thinks in his head.

 

_Species: Felidae-Lynx rufus californus (Mearns Bobca-_

One of Emmett's desk books loudly thump against a bookshelf, making some of his prized novels and book-ends fall off. He jumps from his chair from the sudden sound, ears standing up from the shock. As he slows his breathing, Emmett's ears droop when he notices the fallen literature. _My Harry Otter books…_ Emmett can already imagine the bent pages ruined by Lizzy throwing the desk book-

 

Emmett mind froze, no longer thinking about his destroyed novels. _Lizzy threw a desk book at my shelf._ Faster than Emmett thought he could, his head snaps back to the bobcat idly sitting on her chair, staring at the books on the floor.

 

“ _Why…_ would you do _that_?” Emmett strains his voice as his is glasses get foggy from anger. Lizzy herself is silent, face slightly furrowed and a pout present to show disappointment or frustration.

 

In the most infuriatingly casual voice that causes Emmett's ragged breathing to burn harder, Lizzy states, “I wanted to see if I can throw a book into one of the shelves.”

 

The room is tense and silent other than the annoying click of the clock and Emmett's uneven breathing. His eyes stay frozen but furious at Lizzy, miraculously not ready to explode yet. Lizzy herself sits silent as her “experiment” is a failure.

 

“I'm gonna try again.” Lizzy reaches for another desk book.

 

“NO-”

 

* * *

 

…

_Name: Lambert, May Onaize_

_What type of fucking last name is that?_ Emmett's sleep-deprived, voice-deprived, sanity-deprived brain slurs its way to find out why this kid has a condiment for a birth certificate. _What sort of sick animal would do that?_

 

Emmett's thoughts stop for a second, now focused on a different subject, whether he can feel morally okay mocking the parents of _Mayonaize_. He reads through more of May's file before he see's the cub's parents' names.

 

_Lambert, Richard Rex_

_Lambert (M. Bongo), Bethaknee Zinnia_

_Oh fuck._ Emmett prays lions can't read minds.

 

He pauses. Emmett looks up to May picking his nose and dumbly look out the window. _… I'll be fine, if lions could read minds, this one surely cannot._ Emmett goes back to the first page of the file. _Ugh…Back to that._

 

_Local ID: 316008_

_Age: 13_

_Species: Felinae -  Panthera leo persica (Asiatic Li-_

“Can I just pay you to let me out?” May unknowingly interjects Emmett’s thought process. Before he could stop himself, a comical growl spikes itself out of Emmett's mouth. _Why. Do. They. Keep. Interrupting. Me._

Emmett’s brain freezes on what May just asked him. “Are…are you _bribing_ me?” His ears twitch with disbelief and barely contained anger. May himself stares blankly back at his principle’s face.

 

Emmett can’t tell if May is serious or just trying to poorly plan his way out of the office room. This doesn’t help with his already snappy mood. Despite how _tempting_ the offer is, Emmett hesitates and responds, “…I cannot do that, nor can you offer money.” _The budget problem can be solved eventually,_ Emmett scolds himself, _Yeah…Eventually_.

 

No matter how much he tries, the optimism doesn’t sound any more convincing than _money_.

 

May doesn’t respond back, face slightly scrunched at the response. Emmett takes this chance to start on the interrogation. “So May, want to say anything before we start?” he asks.

 

“Can I use the bathroom?”

 

 _What the fuck._ Emmett’s head tilts as his face furrows in confusion and frustration at the unorthodox response. “Shouldn’t you have gone when I was talking to your other friends?” He glances towards the door, then back at the lion in front of him.

 

May, unfortunately adding onto Emmett’s stress, simply shrugs, as if that was an acceptable answer. “‘Dunno.” He stares back at the principal blankly.

 

Emmett’s patience runs short, barely existing at this point. He stares back at May, before begrudgingly responds, “…Fine. Whatever.” He waves a dismissive paw towards the door for May to follow. “Um, the bathroom is down the right hall, first door to the left.” The lion cub stands up and leaves the room without a word.

 

Once the door closes with a familiar _click_ , Emmett deflates against his chair, slumped with exhaustion. A fatigued sigh he didn’t even know he was holding slips its way out of his mouth. He doesn’t even try to fix his crooked glasses, his paws limp against the arms of his seat. _Just two more kids left…_

 

Unfortunately for his returning headache,  the door surprisingly opens despite only a few seconds passing, causing Emmett to jump from his chair as he tries to sit up straight, ears like poles, and eyes just as attentive. What he sees is Mary, face annoyed, and a hoof holding May’s shoulder.

 

(Emmett hopes May, in the short time he went to the bathroom( _?_ ), washed his paws)

 

Outside the door are his three friends non-subtly watching what is going to happen, Lance, the tallest of the three, looks fearful for his lion friend. His frown deepening at every second and small ears low. Lizzy leans slightly to see the room better, face weirdly calm, if not curious, of what will happen. Zack, as the shortest of the bunch, crouches against his friends, his face annoyed by the lack of space and yet nearly on the verge of laughing with pleasure of May in trouble. Once they all notice Emmett’s attention on them, the three disgracefully scramble away from the door, just to return again, albeit, rather in a poor attempt to seem less conspicuous and nosy.

 

Turning away from the door, Emmett focuses on his secretary and student again. _Weird_ , considering the fact May went to the bathroom for only a few seconds.

 

_Right?_

“What happened, Mary?” Emmett asks, feeling like the world’s unluckiest hare.

 

* * *

 

 

Once May closes the door with a loud _click_ , he breathes a sigh of relief. _Thank god the excuse worked._ He pauses for a second before starting on Phase 2 of **_Plan Get Me and  Friends Out of the Trouble™_.**

 

May starts walking away from the principal’s office with stealth (he ignores the various staff members who are _definitely_ ignoring him and his sneaking). May doesn’t take long to find his friends, all of them sitting on the waiting room chairs. He quickly power-walks his way in front of them.

 

As he starts to move towards them, they all react differently as they realize his presence. Lance looks relieved of May’s quick return, before shifting his face in something like confusion. Lizzy also  is happy to see May, ears somehow even more alive than before, her eyes shining with glee. Unlike the others, Zack seems more puzzled of his appearance. He asks first because of this. “Why are you back so soon?”

 

“Look, I don’t have time because I lied to go to the bathroom, so I’m gonna say this fast,” May begins quickly, “I have a plan for us all to get out of here.”

 

“May-”

 

“Lemme speak. So this is what we do-”

 

“May.”

 

“-We all break down the door to Mr. Principal’s room-”

 

“May the sec-”

 

“We jump in, hold him hostage-”

 

“DUDE JUST LISTE-”

 

“-Demand 10 grand and a hall pass each, and we leave-”

 

A cold hoof grips onto his shoulder. May turns around confused, before remembering the secretary as she glares into his eyes with displeasure. Briefly turning around to his friends for help, May sees Lance hiding his face from embarrassment, Lizzy clutching the sides of her head with attentive eyes, and Zack with his paws barely covering his mouth as he barely contains his laughter. None of them are willing to stand up for May’s _slight_ mistake, unfortunately for him, his shoulder still under the firm grasp of Mrs. Herb.

 

Mrs. Herb lets go of his shoulder, before grasping his paw instead. “You’re coming with me.” They both walk back to Mr. Harrison’s office, only where May once was a few seconds ago.

 

 **_Plan_ ** **_Get Me and Friends Out of the Trouble™_ ** _: **Phase 2**_

**_MISSON; unsuccessful :(_ **

* * *

 

 

Once Mary finishes her story on what happened, Emmett lifts his head away from his paws, exasperation evident on his face. _Why me? Why me, God?_   Emmett thinks He woke up one day, thinking about fucking with _this particular hare._

“Thank you, Mary,” he says in a thankless manner, “But I think I’m done talking to May for now. I’ll move onto Zack.” All eyes fall onto the bat.

 

“…dammit...”

 

* * *

 

 

…

_Name: Gutierrez-Espinosa, Ezekiel_

_Nickname: Zack_

_That’s fucking stupid why the fuck is he called Zack when Ezekiel is shortened to Zeke anyways._

_…_

_School Number:80081-_

_You know what I sick of this shit,_ Emmett snaps, flopping Zack’s folder onto his desk. His attention whips to the bat in front of him, currently with his arms cross and head looking away.

 

 _Trouble kids…_ With what's left of his professionalism, Emmett asks, “Before we start, do you have any questions?”

 

Zack stares at Emmett, something unrecognizable in his eyes. Almost like a taunt, Zack answers back, “Can we curse in your office?”

 

Emmett stares at Zack, no longer with any professionalism left in him. His eyes twitch crazy, as Emmett takes deep, angry breaths. His paw is furrowed in itself, close to ripping skin. To fuel his anger, Zack stares back at his principal, his mouth twisted in amusement.

 

“You know _what_ , Zack? I’ve had _enough_ with all of your friends and their absolute _idiocy_. By this point, _all you need to do_ is tell me what happened so I can send _you_ to detention and _I_ can finally be at peace.” Emmett stands on the seat of his chair, the only way for him to gain any power over Zack. Staring back into his eyes, Emmett can feel his glasses almost slip off his nose, which breathes in and out deeply.

 

Almost a century of waiting later, Zack, whether he’ll actually tell the truth or not, grumbles, “…fine.” He slumps against the chair, somehow digging himself deeper.

 

Emmett sits down on his with a _thump_ -

 

“-you didn’t answer my question tho-”

 

“Get out of my damn office.”

 

* * *

 

 

 _“Did you_ or _did you not_ break into my office.”

 

Lance sits tense, his eyes crazy and paws fumbling like an interviewed prisoner. He is silent, any moment now going to spill.  _Any. Moment._

 

Quietly, almost hesitantly, he speaks. Low, as if afraid to say anything else, Lance mumbles, “...Y-Yes?”

 

“WILL YOU STOP IT WITH THE-”

 

* * *

 

 

Lizzy lays against her chair, legs kicked up to the principal’s desk.  Emmett himself, is laying his head into his paws.

 

“-Like, what’s the likelihood that a mouse can eat through the moon? I don’t know about you but every mouse I’ve met is lactose intolerant. You know Milly? Milly McDonald? Yeah, she said that if she eats one piece of cheese, she’ll die. Or not, she changes her story a lot. I don’t know what her problem is, but that reminded me of this one time Rhody ate this blue thing off the ground and I never saw him after fourth grade – except Milly hates blue. I don’t know what her deal is. What the hell is wrong with blue? It’s like the color of 3:00 AM midnight snacks. I just ate one last night. Mom says it was a wrap but momatron says it was-”

 

* * *

 

 

“ _May_ ,” Emmett says, hard like stone and cold as ice. He glares are the lion across the table, who sits still and is staring off dumbly.

 

Seemingly not getting his attention, Emmett repeats, “May.”

 

Nothing.

 

“ _May_.”

 

He keeps on staring off, oblivious to his principals glare. _Fuck this kid in particular._

 

* * *

 

“Fuck?”

 

“ _Will you stop it with the curses_?” Emmett almost begs at him, his hairs wild and glasses foggy from heat. "I _swear_ to god Zack, if you don't _shut_ up _right_ this instant I will throw you to the P.E. teacher without any mercy."

 

"...Bitc-?"

* * *

 

 

to say that Mary Herb is a bit tired would be an understatement.

 

Yes, that is to be expected when one works at a middle school, but to see young children grow up right in front of your eyes from young tweens to slightly older tweens is a sight to beho-

 

Through her work(that's a lie; Mary is most definitely playing Spider Solitaire), Mary can hear muffled yelling, though she can't tell from whom it's from (that's also a lie; she knows it's Emmett Harrison). She sighs, tired of... _whatever_ Emmett is doing now. 

 

 _He's been alone for some time..._ Mary thinks. Feeling pity for them, Mary let the group go get lunch instead of being cooped in the office all day. Now that the children are gone, Emmett seems to have been...letting go of his anger in the weirdest and the most hypocritical way that a principal does.

 

Mary internally winces when she hears the door slam into the wall. Eyes snapping back to her "work", Mary can see the outline of a furious hare at the corner of her eyes. He stops to slouch against a chair next to her.

 

"...Not going well?" 

 

" _All of them_."

 

Mary whips her head, puzzled by what Emmett said. "What?"

 

"They're all playing me for a _goddamn fool,"_ Emmett whines, almost childlike. Mary rolls her eyes, before turning to him.

 

"You really believe a couple of twelve year olds are bullying you?"

 

Snapping his head up, Emmett snaps, " _Yes_." He pauses, before he continues, "All middle schoolers are like that eventually. These guys happen to be the most diverse in annoyance and the most stubborn bunch of them all."

 

Mary turns herself back to her computer, letting the principal rant on his own. "It's like they all _planned_ it. They all just _happen_ to tell me _nothing_ of why they're there? Why they broke into my _office_? Why those sonuvabitches won't-"

 

Mary gasps in horror, just as a wolf sitting in his seat stares at his principal in shock.  _Oh shit, that kid,_ Mary thinks to herself.  _that wolf's parent just happen to need to pick them up now, huh?_

Emmett continues, oblivious to the gasps. "- _break_? i swear Mary, I am _this_ close to bringing in security-"

 

"Don't you have your own security camera in your office?" Mary interrupts him, annoyance edging into her voice.  _Honestly, you would think-_

 

Like a volcano, Emmett jumps out of his seat. "There'sacAMERAINMYOFFICE-"

 

Slamming his door again, Mary stares at Emmett's office door with annoyance. with an angry huff, she turns her way back to her computer-

 

"Hey, I'm here to pick up my son? Jack Blakesley?" A wolf father interjects himself unknowingly.

 

 _Goddammit._ Mary forces a smile on her face as she asks, "Hello, you're here to pick up a student?"

 

* * *

 

"Sir, if I can ask, why were we called here again?" Lance asks, the most anxious of his group, his paws playing with each other.

 

"Yeah, isn't it, like, illegal to deprive young children, adolescents, and teenagers of their academics?" Zack challenges, making everyone unsure of the room whether he means it or not.

 

Or really, everyone but May and Lizzy. The former is staring off to the window again, completely blocked off from whatever is happening inside the room. The latter is once again grabbing one of Emmett's books-

 

" _Lizzy_. Don't touch that." Emmett snaps, " _Again_."

 

"But I practiced my throwing leg."

 

Zack interjects, "It's true. She was throwing sticks into May's hair."

 

"You're forgetting her throwing rocks into _Weatley's mouth_ ," Lance also interjects, a stern yet frightful tone laces his voice. "he needs a new set of _teeth_ , Zack. _A new set of teeth._ "

 

"Those were his teeth? I thought he was just able to make dirty rocks clean in his mouth," May says with a shrug.

 

"Everybody could do that, May."

 

"Hehe. Not Weatley anymore."

 

"Will you _shut up_?" Emmett hisses, voice almost hoarse.  _God, do they shut up or what???_ "Are you four just _like_ this?"

 

"...Yeah."

  
  
"Pretty much."

 

"Like what?"

 

"Huh? What'd you say?"

 

 _What did I honestly expect?_ "Nevermind! What you should be focusing on is _this_." Emmett yanks a tv remote from his desk. "This ha-"

 

"Why do you have a tv remote?"

 

"You can watch _tv_ in your _office_???"

 

"Why do you have a tv in your office actually-"

 

"Can we watch-"

 

"-THIS HAS THE CONTROLS TO SEE THE SECURITY FOOTAGE THAT TOOK PLACE WHEN YOU BROKE INTO MY OFFICE," Emmett rushes out. Both Lance and Zack widen their eyes, but the former grimaces in fear while the latter looks more shocked. Lizzy, on the other hand, has a blank face on her, Emmett unsure whether she is shocked or not. May, showing more emotion than Emmett has ever seen the whole day from him, look confused, his head turned and eyes squinting at the remote.

 

Turning to the television, Emmett starts pressing various buttons. "Now, let me just-" the tv doesn't turn on, as Emmett grows more confused. "-Wait, let -let me just, ugh-"

 

"Mr. Harrison, can I-"

 

The tv turns on, but not to anything playing. "Nono, I can - _dammit_ \- I can do this-"

 

"Dude, the-"

 

"I can do it, let me ju- just - wait no-"

 

 _"O_ h _my god,_ just let me do it." Jumping from his chair, Zack yanks the remote from Emmett's hand, and in a few seconds, has the tv set to the security footage. "I can't believe I'm helping the principal get the damn security footage that got me caught..." Zack grumbles, before flopping back into his seat.

 

Emmett stands stunned for a second, before recollecting himself. "Thank you, Zack."

 

He clears his throat. "Now, as I was saying, This will show the footage of you breaking in and _why_ you children did so." Pressing onto the rewind button ( _Shit, this better be the rewind button_ ) the footage fastens up until 7:00 am, about 30 minutes before Emmett would have entered the school.

 

As a still video plays, Emmett waits patiently for the moment the four break in, any moment when either a lion, a bear, a bobcat, or a bat will enter through... _something_. 

 

"I think a better time woul-" Lance tries to say, before Zack jabs him with his elbow.

 

" _Dude_ , what the hell?"

 

"I'm trying to do damage control, _Zack_."

 

"What the fuck does _that_ mean?!"

 

"Do you _want_ to stay any longer here?" Lance rebutes.

 

"No, but-"

 

"I want to. I wanna see if I can throw the books back in the shelf," Lizzy interjects.

 

"Can I use the bathroom?" May asks.

 

" _Please_ , let Lance say what he way going to say." Emmett drawls, not even bothering with yelling over the four.

 

Lance says again, " I think a better time to help would be 7:15. I don't leave the house until 7:00, and i remember _someone_ -" Lance glances to a disgruntled Zack. "-got annoyed with how late I was apparently."

 

"Fuck you."

 

"Noted."

 

Ignoring the bickering, Emmett turns to the monitor again and speeds it up to about 7:15 AM.

 

PLAY

 

* * *

 

 

_Almost immediately, the video shows the window behind the desk picked open by Zack. Opening it up with a swing, he speaks in the video, 'Wow, I did not expect that to work so well'._

_Zack jumps in the room , landing on all fours.  May crawls in silently after, but in no way sneakily. Lizzy jumps into the room, before saying, 'Nice job, Zack!'_

 

_Hesitant, Lance stands outside the office window, looking around. 'Hey guys, maybe it's a bad idea to sneak into the principal's office fifteen minutes before school starts.'_

_Zack fakes thinking, a claw tapping his chin. 'Hm. Maybe we wouldn't have been so late if you actually left early like we planned.'_

 

_May, as he's getting up, says, 'Wait, is the principal already in the room?'_

 

_Lance sticks his head in the room, brows furrowing. 'Hey, babushka believes in a full rest of sleep, and I listen to-'_

 

_'That's nice Lance. Hey Lizzy, help me up onto the vent up there?"_

 

_Lizzy, once staring at the statues on Mr. Harrison's desk, turns to him and says, 'Sure, dude.' As she walks over to Zack, Lizzy asks, 'why do you need to go to the vent from the principal's office when there was one outside?' She picks him up, ready to throw his small body to the vent at the top._

 

_Right when she does, Zack asks 'Wait whaAA-'_

 

_Thrown hard right on the gate, Zack holds a death grip onto the metal. 'Why didn't you tell me sooner?' Zack questions, confusion evident in his tone._

 

_'Do any of you guys know the Principal's password on his computer?' May interrupts._

 

_'Guys I need help-'_

 

_Lizzy rushes to May's side. 'Ohohohohoho! I need to use the computer too!"_

 

_Lance, struggling to get into the room, turns to the feline duo and asks, 'Why do both of you guys need to use the computer?'  He huffs in frustration, before slipping half of his body in. 'May, can you help-'_

 

_Several negative beeps emit from the computer, all from May's incorrect inputs. '...I don't think I can guess Mr. Harrison's password.'_

 

_From the upper vent, Zack snickers. 'Dude, I don't think his password is 1234567890. Or Password.'  As if on cue, the computer beeps again incorrectly._

 

_'Called it.'_

 

_'May?'_

 

_' 'm Busy guessing the password.' Another beep._

 

_Lizzy chortles at May before turning to Lance. 'How much you wanna bet Mr. Harrison's password is his name?'_

 

_'None. Why would he use that as his password?'_

 

_Both Lance and Lizzy pause, both turning their heads to May. May himself types in the principal's name, and the computer lets him in._

 

_All of them are stunned, except for Zack's grunts to open the vent with his nails. Lance is the first to speak, saying "...I cannot believed that worked.'_

 

_'I can if  it means changing my grade,' May says, before typing again on the computer._

 

_Zack stops his yanking and turns to May confused. 'How the fuck are you going to change your grade?'_

 

_'The principal can change your grade, and I'm gonna do that," May answers._

_Zack, skeptical, asks again, 'No he can't. Who told you that crap?'_

 

_'Still need help in, guys.'_

_Before May could answer, Lizzy shoves May away from the computer. 'Okay, my turn.'You can help Lance go through the window.'_

 

_'Wha-'_

 

_'And what do you need to use the computer for?' Lance questions, still with half of his body in and out. 'How many of you guys need the principal's computer?'_

 

_Zack speaks up. 'I don't; I need to get through the vents.'_

 

_Lance whips his head to Zack's direction. 'Why do you need to go to the vents?'_

 

_'Gilligan from fifth period  keeps stealing  my fucking  shit and stuffing them into his locker. Anyways, it just so happens that the vents are connected to some lockers-'_

 

_'Bull-'_

 

_'-including Gilligan's. But this vent in Mr. Harrison's office is the only one i saw in this school,' Zack says, before trying to force his feet through it. 'God fucking dammit. How the hell is metal so damn strong?'_

 

_'Computers are made of metal. Can you break that?'_

 

_Lizzy aims her paw. 'How much do you wanna-'_

 

_'Don't punch the computer!' Lance snaps._

 

_Zack looks at the individual screws keeping it shut. 'Any of y'all have a screwdriver?'_

 

_'If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that-'_

 

_'Wait May, when has anyone ask you that in your life?' Lizzy asks, going back on the computer._

 

_'I dunno. Heard it on tv once.'_

 

_'Can someone please help me in-'_

 

_May turns to Lizzy. 'It's your turn.'_

 

_Lance turns his head to May, face twisted in confusion. "You didn't even help me at all!'_

 

_'Do any of you guys know Milly's last name?' Lizzy interrupts._

 

_'Which Milly?'_

_'There's a Milly in this school?'_

 

_Lance grunts, 'McDonald. the only Milly Lizzy knows is Milly Mcdonald.'_

 

_'Hey, how do you know what Milly's I know and don't?' Lizzy questions, turning her attention away from the computer to face :ance struggling his way through the window still._

 

_'Why do you need to know Milly's last name?' May asks Lizzy, taking the computer away from her._

 

_As she walks over to Lance, somehow with his head out of the window, Lizzy answers, 'Milly says that mice could bite through the moon of they wanted to, but I remembered her one time saying that all mice are lactose intolerant. Or she was. I don't remember, but she then claimed that she wasn't? I-'_

 

_Zack bangs against the vent again. 'Wait, what does Milly's apparent lactose intolerance have anything to do with-'_

 

_'What's Mr. Harrison's passwords?' May interrupts again._

 

_Zack asks, 'What? Did you already forget his password? It's his fucking name!'_

 

_'Yeah, but he set up a different password in this website.'_

 

_'Holy shit Lance, how did you fit your head in and then get it out?'_

 

_'By this point, I should really come to expect the-'_

 

_'What the hell.'_

 

_'Oh my god I popped my head back in," Lance announces, now with a pair of his legs and head in the office._

_Zack, from above, looks down to the computer screen in front of May. '...what are you on?'_

 

_'I'm not on any drugs.'_

 

_'I meant the website, May,' Zack corrects himself, annoyed._

 

_'Oh.' May doesn't respond to Zack, only staring blank at the computer. Zack huffs in annoyance before turning back to the metal vent._

 

_'One-'_

 

_I got my third leg in!'  Lance announces again, before immediately stumbling across the rug. 'SHIT-'_

_'Two-'_

 

_Lizzy starts to giggle at Lace sprawled across the floor. 'Aw come on man it's just rug-'_

 

_'THREE-' Zack yells, before jumping harder against the metal frame than before, the sound ringing loudly around the room. To the sudden sound, Lance shoots straight up from the ground, Lizzy screeches in surprise, and May jumps on the computer chair._

 

_Lance scolds, 'Zack, you need to be careful!'_

 

_'Oh shut up-'_

 

_'I hear footsteps,' Lizzy interrupts._

 

_They all turn to the door, in which the all of the four eventually hear the thumps of someone walking up to the door._

 

_Hissing, Zack curses, 'Shit,' as he's basically stuck on the vent unless he falls down hard into the floor. Lance, on the other hand, rushes back out the window, Lizzy a second behind, pushing Lance out the window._

 

_May, though, walks slowly up to the door, to the disagreement to the rest of his friends._

 

_In a hushed whisper, Zack snarls, 'May. Get the fuck away from the door and help me get down-'_

 

_Just as Lizzy is whispering, ' 'ya know this is really difficult for us to sneak away when three of us are stuck in and the other is-'_

 

_Just as Lance is whispering, 'NononononononoMaycomeonthere'snopointin-'_

 

_Just as the door swings wide from Mr. Harrison and the secretary face to face with May._

 

_PAUSE_

 

* * *

As the video stops frozen, the reflection of the five animals in the rooms stare back, some with more confusion or embarrassment than others.

 

The silence fills the room awkwardly. No one wants to be the first to speak after what happened in the video, evident by avoidant eyes and hidden faces.

 

Unfortunately, as the adult of the situation, Emmett forces himself to turn his attention to the embarrassed children next to him. "So, uh,"  _What a great fucking start, Harrison._ "Um, _that_ showed each one for your motives for breaking into my office, yes."  _God, and I thought they were all twisting my mind, no, they're just like that._

 

"Except for you Lance, though judging by your attitude towards everything, I'm just going to assume it's another case of the protector friend." At the mention of his name, Lance looks even more nervous than before, not in any way helped by the fact his friends side-eye him.

 

the culprits have been found, the motive identified, and now, the punishment...

 

...Except all Emmett wants to do right now is to go to sleep for the next decade or so, not give detentions, or suspensions, or expulsions, or _whatever_.

 

Emmett drags his feet to his chair, slumping against it from standing up for the past 15 minutes. Like a miracle at the end of a very,  _very long_ tunnel, the four are quiet.

 

_Ugh...but duty calls..._

 

"Even though I believe we _all_ deserve some peace and quiet after this exhausting day, we _must_ still talk about each one of your punishments."

 

Emmett can't help but agree with the childish groans that ring through the room.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (hypothetical summary this story was going to be given)  
> Zack: Oh ShiT WE're in Trouble FUCK  
> May:  
> Lizzy: Do you think, within the walls of this room, a miniature train can fit in it  
> Lance:AAAAAAAAAAAAA  
> Emmett: God I Want To Retire At The Ripe Old Age Of 4  
> \---
> 
> An attempt at Comedy(TM) was made.
> 
> Thank you for reading this. :)
> 
> None of these characters are mine, and in fact are all Bugmouthh's. You can go talk about them at her tumblr (Bugmouthh.tumblr.com)
> 
> I also have a tumblr! :D (XAestheticallyXSneezingX.tumblr.com)


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